I think this is the first time in two weeks I’ve been able to just… be. I’m emotionally and physically drained. Moving is hard work.
This is the first time I’ve really felt settled in the new place. The last week has been a state of constant change, with the moving process, buying new furniture, and unpacking all the boxes. The entire thing was much more difficult than I was expecting. Packing all of your stuff up is a strange process that yields some emotions, especially if you’ve never done it before. There’s something about seeing a lifetime’s worth of stuff stacked in boxes for the first time, then turning and seeing the shelves of your bedroom empty and alone. They haven’t been empty in thirteen years. It’s bittersweet, leaving. Especially for the first time. But if you want to keep moving forward in life, you have to keep moving forward.
I also finished my first rotation on Friday, which only complicates the mess of the past week. I’ve been juggling final presentations and projects while trying to set up a new home, and it hasn’t been easy. I didn’t stop moving until 11 or 12 at night most of the week.
It’s strange and it’s satisfying. Everything is happening so fast that I don’t even know if I know how to process it all. I guess that’s why I’m writing stuff down again, though. To process. I don’t even know if I’m coherent. At the end of it all, though, I think I can say that I’m one thing for sure.
I’m starting to feel like all I can talk about is drugs and pharmacy and that must be boring as shit to anyone else reading this, but it’s also my life and it’s all consuming, so deal with it, world! Two weeks out of five in the emergency department are done and I think I’m finally settling in. Honestly, sometimes it’s fun to look at the drug lists like a puzzle and see if you can figure out what disease states a person has based off of what they take. It gets really challenging with some of the IV infusions.
Some of the things people do scare me. I can understand not having memorized the names of all the medications you’re taking (well, almost)- drugs are complicated and hard to spell and who has time for that anyway- but if you’re taking like 15 different things, it might be a good idea to carry a list with you. That way, when you come into the emergency room and I ask you what you take, you can give me more than a blank stare.
Actually, PSA, there’s an iPhone app for that- Medical ID- where you can input your emergency contact information, basic information, medications, and allergies (and what the reaction was, which is important- we won’t give you penicillin if it will stop your ability to breathe, but if it’s a rash and it’s the best thing available for your infection, we might risk it), so that it can be accessed by medical personnel in case of an emergency. (This is not a paid endorsement for Apple. I’m not cool enough for paid endorsements of anything.)
I suppose I should really be putting together my journal club for next week (do you really need MRSA coverage for an uncomplicated cellulitis? Spoiler alert: no, you don’t) or making up patient cases for my block 4 rotation or studying for my topic discussion on stroke and TPA administration, but instead, here I am, trying to force myself to write again. I think this whole blog is actually just highly advanced procrastination. Hey, that might make a pretty sweet tagline.